20+ Funny Mother’s Day Quotes for 2024

Let Mum know she’s your best friend, your favourite shoulder to cry on and a remarkable woman all round with these funny Mother’s Day quotes. Add them to your personalised Mother’s Day card or unique Mother’s Day gift, like a photo tile, blanket, framed print, mug, or a photo slate.

• “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘keep away from children’.” – Susan Savannah 
• “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children” – Sam Levenson 
• “Mom, I love you, even though I’ll never accept your friend request.”  — Unknown 

• “Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out” – Unknown   

• “Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse” – Nia Vardalos  
• “Mother (n): One person who does the work of 20. For free. See also: saint, Wonder Woman.” — Unknown

• “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.” —Lisa Alther 
• “May your coffee be stronger than your toddler” — Unknown
• “I don’t want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.” — Unknown 

• “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” — Erma Bombeck 
• “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.” — Unknown
• “You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was cold.” — Unknown 

• “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it” – Buddy Hackett
• “Behind every great child is a mom who’s pretty sure she’s screwing it all up.” — Unknown” 
• “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” –Nora Ephron 

• “Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” — Alyson Hannigan
• “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” —  Milton Berle
• “Children are a great comfort in your old age – and they help you reach it faster, too” —  Lionel
• “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘keep away from children.” — Susan Savannah
• “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” — Mark Twain
• “Happy Mother’s Day Mum! (And while I have you, quick apologies for ages 13-21.)” — Unknown